electric pastiche

I really need to be alone. I don’t want to be alone I just know that I need to be. I can feel that my life is quickly becoming something that I never meant it to be. It happens so slowly - this change from a child who had so many ideas about what type of person she wanted to be into an adult; lacking. I think people just get sucked into living a life that they feel really isn’t their own. I feel like I’m that person. I feel like I’m not living my life. I don’t feel real. I need to be alone. When I’m alone and I’ve exhausted thinking about others around me and their drama all I have left is myself. It sucks to be alone with your thoughts when you feel like your life is going nowhere fast. But these moments of solitude that I allow myself are the only times I get any real perspective. I wish I could just take a break and be nowhere for a week. Maybe a month. I want to be a hermit. I want to be some old bearded man on the top of a mountain close to the night sky realizing his place in the world. I need this. If I don’t make time for this healing solitude I think something bad is going to happen to me. I don’t make any sense.

(Source: , via grasstomyknees)